Matches

Mom: Have you brought the matches home? 


Son: Yes Mom!


Mum: Are they working??? 


Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire matches... It's working.

Teacher: English to Tagalog

TEACHER: Who among you can make a sentence then translate it in Tagalog?

PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?

TEACHER: Very good, translate it in Tagalog.

PUPIL: Ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?

I is? I am?

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
 
Student: I is the...

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: Okay. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Mother's Choice

Bob is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Bob replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."

A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"

With a frown on his face, Bob answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."

The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"

Bob replied, "My father doesn't like her."

Easter Egg Peacock

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one.

A few minutes later the rooster walked in and saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock.