Labor Pains

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

English Teacher

In Class:

• Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
• Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
• Cut an apple in two halfs - take the bigger half.
• Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside.
• Both of you three, get out of the class.
• Close the doors of the window.
• Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
• Take 5 cm wire of any length.

About Family:

• I have two daughters both of them are girls.

At the play ground:

• All of you, stand in a straight circle.
• There is no wind in the balloon.

Punishment:

• You, rotate the ground four times
• You, go and under-stand the tree
• You three of you, stand together separately.
• Why you are late - say YES or NO

Foreign Language

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when suddenly a cat attacks them.

The mother mouse starts barking like a dog and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby, "Now you see why it's important to learn Foreign Language."

White Hair

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looked at her mother and asked inquisitively, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?".
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Mama, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

James Bond 007

If 007 is James Bond...
Then who is 111?

Think ...

Think ...

Think ...